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Our complete line of healthy and time-productive products are featured in convenience store restrooms the world over.

  Here are just a few samples:

  • Hun Deflector™ - Item No. 77892. Patent No. 5,467,890,123. This pocket-sized wonder is your sure-fire defense against an invading would-be emperor. Available with optional Visigoth adapter. Batteries not included.

  • Oasis Simulator™ - Item No. 77782. Patent Pending. You won't believe your eyes at the inherent value of this revolutionary new USI product. Not recommended for the optically impaired. Some assembly required.

  • Silence Eliminator™ - Item No. 70082. For those tender moments when quiet just won't cut it, the USI Silence Eliminator gives you more than your fair share of ear-shattering noise. Available in red, ecru, bone and shy green.

  • Damp-o-Matic 2000™ - Item No. 71482. Who can resist the persuasive power of moisture? This amazing new product is guaranteed to provide a wet countenance at a moment's notice. Not available in Kansas and Guam.

  • Rid-o-Ron™ - Item No. 75487. If you know someone named Ron, and he just won't stay away, this aerosol spray will leave him running with blood-curdling screams of "I'll never return, I promise." Coming Soon - Rid-o-Rita and Rid-o-Dad. Caution: Follow directions carefully, contents flammable.

  • Commander Earwax Action Figure™ - Item No. 75486. This tot treat will keep the youngsters amused for hours. Disguised as a common Q-tip, Commander Earwax transforms himself into an actioneer fighting crime with his own special "danger-sauce". Keep out of reach of children.

  • ClogFest! ™ - Item No. 75486. This winning party game has been a secret treat for generations of fun-seeking teenagers, and now USI brings it home at an affordable price. We can't reveal the details of this joy-a-thon without spoiling its precious secret objective. You'll just have to try it to believe it! Also available February 1st...SUPER ClogFest!