Dear Cat,

Pretty good question, there, my feline friend. No need to get all paranoid on me though. Sip some decaf and relax.

That question is part of my patient survey sheet only as a feeler, to gauge what sort of person I'm working with. In short, it's a diagnosis aid. For instance, if I get a patient who lists A Passage to India, Ghandi, The Last Emperor, The English Patient, and The Trip to Bountiful, it's a safe bet they're not gonna get any of my jokes. These folks stick close to the facts and typically think Ker-Plunk is one heck of a dandy board game. Therefore, I have to adapt my bedside manner to suit their personality.

If somebody lists Silence of the Lambs, Alive, Soylent Green, Eating Raoul and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, hey I gotta think we're looking at an eating disorder, yaknow?

If somebody lists Star Trek 1 through 5 and adds a comment that there's not enough spaces for their favorites, I gotta think we're dealing with a case of vulcanism, kirkaplexy, or sulucitis. (For those of you experiencing symptoms, the treatment is simple: shut off electricity to your house.)

As to the second part of your inquiry, I had to give my answer a lot of think-time. I've got about five favorites in every genre of film, from silents to science fiction. Taking those 50 or so and whittling it down to a solid five was an ordeal beyond compare. But, here, at long last, is my all-time top of the heap:

• Casablanca
• The Searchers
• City Lights
• The Third Man
• Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

And before everybody gets all bent out of shape, there are some more recent titles on the list if I stretch it to an even 10, but hey, that's not the assignment now is it? I'll leave that mystery up to you folks to diagnose (does anyone smell a dose of Keyser Soze?)

Get "reel" soon,
Doc

I have a serious problem with a memory flash. I remember a scene from some movie...and I can't remember which one. In the scene, there are people in some some sort of control room. They are all frantic, flipping switches and talking at the same time. Obviously, there is some sort of chaos going on. Suddenly, two men and a woman burst into the room, and the woman yells, "What the hell is happening?" She has a sharp New York accent, and I think she's in a WWII-era outfit.

Sorry, I can't offer more detail, and I don't know why this scene is stuck in my head, but it's driving me crazy. Help me, Doc!

Brain-Locked in Washington State

Dear Brain-Locked,

If I was the fibbin' kind, I'd tell you that I immediately remembered the film you're thinking for, but in reality, I too kept scratching my melon for quite some time before it dawned on me. By the way, I wish you coulda seen the look on Cleburn Farber's face when I said, "What the hell is happening?" right in the middle of his prostate exam. Oopsy-daisy.

Anyway, the movie you're looking for is My Favorite Year, one of the funniest movies of the 1980s. A great look at the toddler years of television, with Sid Caesar and Errol Flynn thinly disguised and played respectively by Joseph Bologna and Peter O'Toole.

The scene you're referring to occurs about seven minutes before the end of the pic, but don't zap through this gem just to ease your mind. Watch this flick from the get-go and enjoy a laugh or three on me.

Get "reel" soon,
Doc