DOCTOR'S ORDERS ...Lists from the Movie Doc Hippocratic Oath ...the movies everyone should swear by Casablanca The Maltese Falcon To Kill a Mockingbird City Lights Citizen Kane Manhattan Chinatown Treasure of the Sierra Madre Rio Grande Schindler's List Lobotomies ...films you don't need a brain to enjoy Blazing Saddles Airplane! Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad Used Cars The Great Race Young Frankenstein It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World National Lampoon's Animal House Caddyshack Up the River Chronic Obesity ...overblown epics collapsing under their own weight A Passage to India Greatest Story Ever Told Cleopatra The Ten Commandments The Bible Doctor Zhivago Wyatt Earp How the West Was Won The Razor's Edge (1984) Gandhi Cement Burns ...films so bad you'd rather lose skin than be forced to watch Ice Castles Dirty Dancing Big Top Pee-Wee Beastmaster Masters of the Universe Gymkata Red Sonja Over the Top Six Pack Sheena, Queen of the Jungle Second Opinions ...films you might want to take another look at Things Change The Stuntman Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man One Two Three The Twelve Chairs Wild at Heart The Professional Natural Born Killers Glengarry Glen Ross The Trouble with Harry The Good Doctors... ...worthy medical professionals on the big screen The Hospital M*A*S*H For Whom the Bell Tolls Captain Newman, M.D. The Doctor Doc Hollywood House Calls Nell The Elephant Man The Abominable Dr. Phibes ....And the Bad... ...not-so-worthy medical professionals captured on film Vital Signs Bad Medicine Critical Condition Like Father, Like Son Young Doctors in Love Tammy and the Doctor Malice Color of Night City of Joy Flatliners Healing the Sick ...illness and infirmity as plot devices Six Weeks Dying Young An Affair To Remember Magnificent Obsession Awakenings Inside Moves Whose Life Is It Anyway? Steel Magnolias The Waterdance Outbreak Referrals for... ...emergency surgery? Donald Sutherland in M*A*S*H ...psychological counseling? Gregory Peck in Captain Newman, M.D. ...strange disease research? Dustin Hoffman in Outbreak ...gourmet catering? Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs ...general practice? Robert Preston in S.O.B. ...sports medicine? Burt Lancaster in Field of Dreams ...veterinary care? Rex Harrison in Doctor Dolittle ...nursing care? Louise Fletcher in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest ...nonhuman practice? Kim Stanley in Planet of the Apes ...obstetrics? Robin Williams in Nine Months Sound Mind and Body ...the best mental patients getting treatment Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs Will Sampson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis in Strange Brew Herbert Lom in Revenge of the Pink Panther Frances Farmer in Frances Cheech Marin in Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams Gary Cooper in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys Raving Madmen ...crazy folks on the loose Gary Oldman in The Professional Robin Williams in The Fisher King Robert De Niro in Cape Fear Robert Mitchum in Night of the Hunter Telly Savales in The Dirty Dozen Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest John Lithgow in The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension RIchard Widmark in Kiss of Death (1947) Peter Lorre in M Jeremy Irons in Dead Ringers The Lame and the Infirmed ...best handicapped portrayals by able-bodied actors Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump Jon Voight in Coming Home Audery Hepburn in Wait Until Dark Mary McDonnell in Passion Fish Walter Brennan in Rio Bravo Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman Patty Duke in The Miracle Worker Amy Irving in Voices Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot Jane Wyman in Johnny Belinda Optic Traumas ...movies with scenes that are too painful to watch Sharky's Machine - torture on the boat The Accused - the rape in the bar Deliverance - the stop at sodomy point Sophie's Choice - the choosing a child scene Glory - the whipping scene Diehard - the glass removal scene Reservoir Dogs - "Stuck in the Middle With You" Halloween 2 - the emergency room scene I Spit On Your Grave - the entire movie Psycho 2 - grabbing at the knife Dysphasia ...the inability to swallow, incredibly implausible casting Edward G. Robinson in The Ten Commandments John Wayne in Genghis Khan Mac Davis in The Sting, Part 2 Lee Majors in The Norseman Marlon Brando in The Teahouse of the August Moon Elvis Presley in Change of Habit Kevin Costner in Robin Hood Keanu Reeves in Chain Reaction Harry Hamlin in Clash of the Titans Patrick Wayne in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger Otitis Media ...painful ringing in the ears or horrible musical casting Clint Eastwood & Lee Marvin in Paint Your Wagon Albert Finney in Annie Walter Matthau in Hello, Dolly! Rod Steiger in Oklahoma Bert Reynolds in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Sylvester Stallone in Rhinestone Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2 Kurt Russell in The One & Only Original Family Band Michael Beck in Xanadu Tragic, Tragic Accidents ...it shoulda never happened Gymkata Barbwire She-Devil Xanadu Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band Masters of the Universe Rollerboogie Two of a Kind Perfect Poison Ivy DNR ( Do Not Resuscitate ) Film sequels that should have been allowed to die away gracefully Jaws 2,3,4 Rocky 2,3,4,5,6 Grease 2 Poltergeist 2,3 Friday the 13th infinity Nightmare on Elm Street 2,3,4,5,6 Smokey and the Bandit 2,3 Cannonball Run 2 Gremlins 2 Halloween 2,3,4,5 Call 911 ...ambulances featured in key film scenes Mother, Jugs & Speed Disorderlies The Ambulance Hudson Hawk Twilight Zone: The Movie Backdraft Battle Circus The Razor's Edge