Okay, here's the deal. I don't know how it all got started, but I've never been much of a Tarzan person. I dug the books as a kid, but, well, the movies left me drier than a Death Valley martini. No reflection on Johnny Weissmuller, mind you, 'cause Olympic Johnny surely carved out the definitive Ape Man for decades. I mean, c'mon, they let Ron Ely play Tarzan, for Pete's sake. I needed Beach Blanket Tarzan like I needed a carrot peeler jammed in my left nostril. And, for the sake of my church-goin' fans who object to obscene language, I'll refrain from unloading on that Bo Derek fiasco and last year's Tarzan movie with Casper the Friendly Starship Trooper guy. Saints preserve us....
If there was a hope to anything concerning the White Ape, it was the 1984 entry, Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, starring Christopher Lambert (Highlander) and directed by Hugh Hudson. Lambert was pretty good as the Lord of the Jungle, but, well, Andie MacDowell shot a hole in that boat for me. (You guys do know that Glenn Close had to go in and re-dub every line MacDowell had, because her attempted English accent was worse than Kevin Costner's in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, right?) At least in Hudson's version, Tarzan had some character, some expression.
But, for whatever reason, the announcement that Disney was making an animated version gave me a twinkle of hope. Could they pull off a winner, after so many missteps and outright fumbles with the Tarzan story? If they could, it'd be a major coup for all concerned. If they flubbed it, just turn the deadbolt 'cause nobody'd ever touch it again.
Well, friends and neighbors, the new animated Tarzan is out in theatres now, and it's dang near good enough to turn the loincloth into a fashion trend.
In case you need a brush-up on the story, Tarzan visits the jungle with his human parents as your average human baby. Well, a jaguar with a mean streak comes along and makes din-din out of Mom and Dad, leaving the baby to his fate. (Wouldn't be a Disney feature without an orphan, right?) Thankfully, a female ape named Kala (voiced by Glenn Close, the savior of Greystoke...) comes along and finds the baby. Kala recently became a mother, only to have her young one die. She adopts the human infant, with some objection from her mate, Kerchak, voiced by Lance Henriksen (TV's "Millenium"). The child grows up, raised in the ways of the apes, and fits in as best he can, but he's constantly reminded, both by others in the clan and by his own recognition, that he is an outsider.
His life in the jungle is pretty much a dream life, tree-surfing and swinging through his days, and having fun with his friends Terk (Rosie O'Donnell), another ape in the clan, and Tantor (Wayne Knight), an elephant.
Then a group of humans come to the jungle to study the great apes. One of these humans, Jane, played by Minnie Driver (Good Will Hunting) is there with her slightly addled father. She and Tarzan, now a man and voiced by Tony Goldwyn (Kiss the Girls), meet up, and, well, shall we say that nature takes its course, as much as it can in a G-rated movie anyway. She teaches Tarzan more about his human side, and he teaches her about the jungle, the apes, and a class or two on tree-surfing as well.
Let me start by saying this: Wow! People, if you are fans of the art of animation, this movie is a textbook example of what's in store from Disney. If you can remember back to the wonderful Beauty and the Beast, you'll remember the "ballroom scene," one of the most eye-catching moments of that movie. Using both computers and hand-drawn animation, we were given a taste of near
3-D animation. That was a 28-second scene. Tarzan uses the same technique...for 88 minutes. The visuals here are so rich, and so alive, it almost takes your breath at times. The jungle is alive, the ocean is alive, and the scenes of Tarzan surfing recklessly through the moss-covered trees, leaping and gliding from tree to tree, all combine for a true sensory treasure. One could only imagine what this would look like in IMAX. If a helicopter sweeping down a mountainside can make you feel like you're flying, what would this much sensory input do to you?
But I hear you, people: "But Doc, that's all well and good, but visuals do not a movie make!"
Have no fear, my loyal patients! Disney ain't gonna leave it like that! Dreamworks may give you eye candy and boring storylines, but not The Mouse. They know that you have to grab everyone if you're gonna win over the audience. For the first time in a couple of Disney animation efforts, we're given a full and well-rounded story. There are themes of family bonds, and, in a happy coincidence, a timely notion that being the outsider is not always bad, as long as you are loved for who you are. There's a lot of humor, particularly from O'Donnell and Knight, and, believe it or not, there's some nice chemistry in the love story, thanks to some superb vocal work from Driver and Goldwyn. There's jokes geared towards the kids, of course, but Disney has wised up in the past ten years and nailed the fact that adults like to be targeted now and then, too, so the humor is broad enough for everyone to enjoy. And, while violence and death are points of focus, they are both treated in a manner respectful to all audiences. The death of Tarzan's human parents is the roughest moment, and it's done off-screen, leaving the mind to paint the picture.
Oh, and friends, there is a moment, I won't say when, but there is a moment. You could call it a brief homage to that scene I mentioned earlier from Beauty and the Beast. Let me just say this -- I have seen this movie twice, the second time just to see this moment. I have nothing but the utmost respect for animation, when it's done to perfection. The opening montage from The Lion King, the B&B ballroom scene, Fantasia's Night on Bald Mountain sequence...these are the perfect moments that define animation in my mind. Tex Avery is my hero in cartoons, but for the art, these moments are classics. The moment I refer to in Tarzan, you'll know when you feel yourself actually taking a deep breath because of what you are seeing. That, friends, is a moment.
If I have an argument with anything in this movie, it's the nasty side effect that all movies are catering to now, the soundtrack album. Phil Collins' pop soundtrack is more intrusive than it anything else, and also so unnecessary; it almost grates on the nerves. I know everyone feels they have to make as much money as they can off these things, but when it gets in the way of the movie it's supposed to be supporting, it's wrong. It would never would've passed the first meeting, but I'd have lobbied for a soundtrack more akin to The Lion King. The combination of African themes and rhythms, maybe the obligatory two radio songs, and the rest be nothing but powerful scoring. But, alas, as long as the bucks are calling the shots, we're going to have these schmaltzy soundtracks.
That aside, I can still honestly say this is one of the best family movies in ages, and, it deserves whatever recognition it gets as such. It provides everything necessary for both parents and kids to have a wonderful time at the movies, and, hey, with all the R-rated real-life around us, maybe what we need is some fantastic G-rated escapism.
Go see Tarzan, no matter how old or young you are. In a summer full of blockbusters and special effects and explosions and aliens, this trip back to Edgar Rice Burroughs' jungle is more than fun. It's fun for everyone.
Image copyright Walt Disney Pictures.
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