Okay, here's the deal. I've told you guys before how I feel about the whole Star Wars phenomenon. I've been an addict for 22 years. Nothing overt, mind you. Never changed my name into some four-syllable mishmash that sounds like an entree in a Malaysian restaurant. Never threw a "Wookie On Board" yellow diamond in my truck window. And I dang sure never dressed up in khaki leggings and burlap tunic and went walking around anywhere. Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of stuff; I just never caught the fever quite THAT bad.
But, the movie itself? It hooked me. There was just something about it that was spellbinding, especially to an impressionable kid with a jones for the silver screen. I went through the first trilogy like a fiend, learning all I could about the story, and, moreover, about the mythology behind the story. And, like any true fan, I have waited. And waited. And waited. We all knew that, one day, there would be more to chew on.
And, unless you've been living in a bank safe for the past six months, you now know that, yes, Virginia, the Christmas sleigh has finally arrived and filled the house with goodies. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace has arrived, and Jedi fans around the world have reveled and rejoiced and made merry. And, regardless of what you may have read elsewhere, this movie is, indeed, a special product. It's not a perfect movie, but, hey, does it matter?
George "Emperor of Marin County" Lucas introduces us to Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi (here played by Ewan McGregor). The two are interceding on behalf of the planet Naboo, a world targeted for takeover by the omnipotent Trade Federation. The queen of Naboo, Amidala (Natalie Portman) has enlisted them for help, and they're swashbuckling their way through the galaxy to save her world from destruction. Their journey takes them to Tatooine, where they encounter a young boy named Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd), the youth who's destined to be the most powerful Jedi of his time, and who will one day become....Well, why am I telling you?
I'm not going to go into the plot further, lest I tell some great secret that will get me into a barrage of e-mail from people with screen names like "Chewbacca 9" and "Han_Solo_Rulz."
Folks, this movie is a visual delight like nothing you could've imagined. Underwater New Wave cities, a "Pod race" over the rocky wasteland of Tatooine's landscape that'll leave your butt clenched for a half-hour, skylines woven with trials of hovercraft flying by.... It's a digital Wonderland, and Lucas lets us be Alice, wandering in amazement through his designs.
Lucas has also raised the bar on Hollywood effects by presenting the first truly integrated digital lead characters, notably Jar Jar Binks, a floppy-eared sidekick with a Caribbean accent. Sort of a Roger Rabbit on Ganja thing.
I'll pick up with Jar Jar as a point of departure to tell you what bothered me about the movie, and once that's done, I'll dust it all away with the enormity of what's great about the movie. Jar Jar's bizarre accent makes him hard to understand, and as the film's main source of comic relief, he falls a bit flat. To me, George Lucas has always had a weak spot for "cute" (the Ewoks, the Jawas, etc.) and the cynic in me says he does this to sell toys. My more forgiving nature says it's just intended to cross-sell the picture to girls. Though not prototypically "cute", Jar Jar seems created from that philosophy.
Also at times, it seems that George was so busy playing with his graphics software that he forgot to log enough time at the word processor.
The story here is more politics than pirate ships, and small ones might get lost in Lucas' convoluted galactic bureaucracies -- the taxation and tariff stuff is hard to follow -- but it's frankly just a rollicking McGuffin that lets the main characters fire blasters and cross swords.
I'm not making excuses for George, friends and neighbors. I do think he leaves Liam Neeson in HobbyHorse mode too often. I admire Liam's work, but he can be incredibly bland. McGregor is dead-on as Kenobi, and, whether meaning to or not, has a frighteningly close impression of Sir Alec Guinness's voice...it's just a shame he didn't get to do more. (I imagine that Episode II will be more his story.) Natalie Portman is very good, albeit amazingly top-heavy (meaning hats and hairdos, so quit smirking...). My major question to George is in the casting of Jake Lloyd as the Boy Who Will Be Darth. The kid has the look of Future Luke, but, in The Real World, he won't be teaching any acting classes any time soon. He does everything he's asked to do, but he's a sapling in the redwood forest of wooden actors. If you missed his grating performance with Ahnold in Jingle All The Way, count your lucky stars (no pun intended...). There has to be a kid somewhere that could've done this better. Adding a couple of years on the kid in exchange for a better talent would've helped; Anakin could easily be 13 or 14 years old without destroying the story.
Mostly, I think the film is lacking a riveting star presence like Harrison Ford, who surely was the backbone of the first series. As Han Solo, Ford gave us lots of brash, fun moments, and provided a hero that rose above the comic book archetypes.
Honestly, though, those drawbacks didn't surprised me. I've always thought Lucas' films were handicapped by some really weak acting (you want to argue over the relative chops of Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams, and those X-Wing pilots, be my guest), but easily made up for it with their masterful visual effects, soaring music, and terrific action sequences. That theory continues on in this installment too.
That said, this is one heck of a great movie. Phantom Menace is loaded with extremely well-crafted action and an enormous amount of mind-blowing visual artistry. More than you may be able to process, in fact. We're given intense rocket races, deep-space air battles, light sabre duels, and more. We have a wicked new villain in Darth Maul (played by Ray Park), who looks like the offspring of an unholy union between Pokey and a Kiss album cover. This guy wields an extra-cool double-bladed lightsabre thingy and performs some deadly fight gymnastics. We get Yoda and Artoo and See Threepio (bet you didn't know I could spell those), so we have our link to the trilogy. And, for the record, seeing Yoda and Samuel L. Jackson doing scenes together is something I can quite honestly say I never dreamed possible. Then again, I thought Travolta's career was over after The Experts, so Dionne Warwick I ain't....
To the average viewer, this movie might seem like a big spectacle of design and CGI, but hardly a blip in the Star Wars universe. There are hardened critics out there who (against their agreement with Lucasfilm) decided to go ahead and blast away at the movie before it opened, and went nuts over the relative lack of story and character development. And, by doing so, these angry souls showed a big fault in their simple logic (if I may be so bold to question the Big Ten of the Critic World.)
Quick jaunt down Memory Lane: When those first words began scrolling up the screen in the original Star Wars, what were the first two words to appear in the intro? They were simple - and, at first, a bit confusing. The words were "Episode Four."
Folks, the swashbuckling adventure that stole our hearts and minds in 1977 was a wonderful movie, full of indelible characters and action. It was also the middle of the story.
We jumped headfirst into the deep end of the Universe. We were given just enough backstory to tease us about what had happened in the past, and we went full-throttle from there. If Phantom seems like a whole different spirit, it's because it IS!!! George is trying to tell the first part of the story, and, like any epic tale, there aren't a lot of earth-shattering events in the first few pages. This story is not as much about renegade star pilots and huge hairy co-pilots and young naive desert dwellers learning to master their inner power, and that apparently gets under people's skin. Don't let it.
The Phantom Menace shows off George Lucas' true talent: the ability to take us on a magical journey to another world and let us live there for two hours. Anyone who can't find immense joy in that is far too cynical to be queuing up for the movies. This is not supposed to be The Killing Fields. It's just great fun.
Long and short of it is this: The Phantom Menace did exactly what it was supposed to do. It gives the genesis for the story. It gives a new life to the series by giving fans the basis of the story. And it gives us movie fans a movie filled with action, good vs. evil, and the chance to see how Darth Vader became all breathing machine and black leather. (I do want to know how those breathing machines work, though, 'cause I can't figure out how they make your voice sound like James Earl Jones.... I want to sound like James Earl Jones!)
Folks, if you're a Star Wars fan, you'll like this one a lot. If you're new to the Universe, you'll get some understanding about the story and how it unfolds. And, new or old, you're gonna see what fantasy-adventure is gonna be like in the next century. It's gonna be big, it's gonna be fast, and it's gonna be fun.
Image copyright 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm, Ltd.
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in for observation