Okay, here's the deal. Look, let's be straight with each other for a second. Y'all know how I feel about remakes. On the whole, they're a one-way ticket to Suck City. They take everything great about the original and distort it through bad casting or lousy scripting, or, the Evil Incarnate, the director decides to "tweak" it with his own personal touches to make it "his movie."
The one director I thought could rest easy would've been Alfred Hitchcock. Who could redo Hitchcock? Brian DePalma has tried to match the style, but he always comes up a nickel short. Scorcese? Please. How are you gonna fit DeNiro and Pesci into a Hitchcock movie? Tarantino? (I wish you could see me laughing at this very minute. I blew Mountain Dew out my nose just thinking about Quint redoing Psycho.) No, Lord Alfred was one of a kind, and no one would dare attempt to master the Master's craft.
But, I forgot about Andrew Davis. Andrew Davis, who actually made a Steven Seagal movie that was worth watching (Under Siege). Andrew Davis, who took a decades-old TV show and turned it into one of the most entertaining movies of the decade (The Fugitive). Andrew Davis knows how to sculpt a thriller. Granted, Chain Reaction stunk, but that one got mucked up at the agency. Keanu Reeves as a nuclear scientist? It's like building the foundation of a house with Silly Putty. Same thing with Steal Big, Steal Little. Andy Garcia playing twins -- one naughty, one nice. Why not get those weird-looking Olsen twins? Weak base = weak structure.
Turn Andrew Davis loose with Hitchcock? The prospect still had me a little nervous, no matter how tantalizing it sounded. It might have just been a case of "Hitch fever", but I was tied to my loyalties to The Master. Until I saw A Perfect Murder, the new thriller starring Michael Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow. It is a remake of the classic Hitchcock movie Dial M for Murder, and, while it's not Hitchcock reborn, Andrew Davis has reason to be proud.
It seems that there's this rich business lord, Steven Taylor (Michael Douglas), and Steve has worked himself into a serious bind as far as finances go. He's living the good life, with way-swank home and his ever-so-perfect wardrobe and his seriously-younger wife, Emily (Gwyneth Paltrow). Emily is not overly thrilled with the way her marriage is working, despite her own $100 million trust fund. She's taken up with a working-class artist named David (Viggo Mortensen). David is, uh, well, let's say he's taking care of all the things Steven doesn't have time for, if you get my drift.
Steven finds out about the affair, and confronts David. It turns out David is not all what he seems. He's living as many lies as Steven is. Steven comes up with a plan that will solve everything. If David will kill Emily, and make it look like an accident, he'll get a cool half-million presidential flash cards for his trouble. Steven will inherit the rest of Emily's trust fund, which will cure his money woes quite lickety splickety. Sounds like pecan pumpkin, huh?
But things never go quite the way they're planned, now, do they?
If you remember Michael Douglas in Wall Street, consider this "The Return of Gordon Gekko." Douglas has a way of making his voice down so cold and so evil, it's almost chilling, and, here, the voice defines the character. Stephen Taylor is another example of greed personified, but this time, Douglas has an entirely new side to the image. Downright murderous. He even manages to make a smile look icy. Backing him up here, Miss Gwyn does her best to look innocent and victimized, when, truth be told, she has a bit of the evil in her, too. She's a lot more three-dimensional than some of her latest work, and, yes, she is quite a feast for the eyes, albeit a fat-free feast. (Note to Brad Pitt: ARE YOU INSANE???) The third point of this triangle, Mortensen, has all the intensity he had in G.I. Jane, but, like everyone else in this thing, he's got his own sack of backstory to tote around. And keep a sharp eye out for the performance of David Suchet as the detective. If there's ever been a case of "less is more," it is here. He is riveting without stealing a scene. Added pleasures....
Davis had his work cut out for him, and he grabbed the challenge with gusto. He has obviously been studying his film noir, and has learned from folks like Dahl and Singer. He has made a blazing 1940's Alan Ladd mystery, complete with Technicolor wash. Deep colors and lavish set decor instead of shadows and barrooms and backlit offices. Clear darkness instead of smoky alleys and corridors. But there's no doubt, it's a film noir with luster.
He also gets some significant help from his writer, Patrick Smith Kelly, jazzing up Frederick Knott's original screenplay. This script twists and doubles back like a moonshiner on a mountain road. Hitch would be proud of Kelly, the way he loved Knott's play. Kelly sets up the stunner scenes perfectly, and can plant a MacGuffin like nobody's bidness. None of the characters trust each other, but all know that their own best interests are of primary concern. One of the Hitchcock trademarks was the distrust. You never knew exactly who to believe, or who to declare a "bad guy." It made watching fun, and when you thought you had pegged a character -- BOOM -- the plot would shank, and you had to cypher it out all over again. Davis and Kelly knew that feeling, worked with it, and chalked up a nice, tasty thriller.
Granted, the entire mood of the piece is downbeat, and, in some of the slower scenes, the pace almost drags to a screeching halt. Once it grinds down, it takes a scene or two to get back up to speed. And, after a while, there are times when you feel like you're watching an issue of Architectural Digest like a flip-book cartoon. Both details are somewhat distracting, but not enough to deter you from the events unfolding onscreen.
While I know my heart belongs to Hitchcock, I gotta admit that there may just be a new version of The Master around the corner. Knowing what Davis did for The Fugitive, and seeing what he can do with a Hitchcock classic, I would be very interested in seeing what he could do with a remake of North By Northwest. Throw, say, Tommy Lee Jones into the lead role, add, oh, say, Sean Connery as the suave bad guy. Catch Kim Basinger post-Oscar® as the love interest. Imagine what computer graphics could do for the final chase down Mount Rushmore......
Relax a bit this summer, and give a thought to A Perfect Murder. It's not full of wild action and huge stunts, but it is one of the better movies of the summer that will probably get buried in the landslide of MegaMoney Supermovies. I think even Hitchcock would be pleased with the effort, and you might just be, too.
Image copyright Warner Bros.
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