Okay, here's the deal. Saturday, I decided to swing by Bad Buck's House of Cluck for a bucket of chicken. I was feeling a heap of hollow in my stomach, so I ordered the REALLY BIG bucket. Bad Buck ain't conning anyone when he calls that bucket REALLY BIG. This bucket is large enough to host a conga contest featuring six Sumo Wrestlers and the cast of "Roseanne".

Anyway, I had myself enough grub to feed an army of darkness, so I went over to my friend Luther Toeberry's house to share the wealth. Luther's one of those guys who's always home, always broke, and always starvin', so when I'm feeling generous I like to give the man a break. (Y'know, maybe he's always broke and starvin', 'cause he's always home. Get a job, Luther!) Regardless, he's got a nice front porch with a landscape view of Gobbler Creek, where during the spring and summer, one is apt to catch a glimpse of the gorgeous Siler Sisters enjoying a nice, cool dip in the bubbling branch. (Okay, so I had alterior motives for sharing the REALLY BIG bucket. Sue me.)

We began eating, and since there was no sure sign of the Silers, we chatted. And dang if Luther didn't start musing over where fried chicken comes from, and the process behind chicken butchery, and how sad it is that the chicken we're snacking on was once a living, breathing being with a family and a home and.... Right then and there, my brain started working too hard, and before long, I'd lost my appetite. And that REALLY BIG bucket of chicken and the REALLY BIG money I spent on it, pretty much went to waste. Alright, Luther finished it all, but it went to waste as far as I was concerned. And those Siler Sisters never showed up either.

The point is, sometimes you just shouldn't think so much. Case in point: later that night I was hoping to spin things toward a happier note and trucked out to see the new Kurt Russell flick, Breakdown.

I have to say, this was one swell picture. Much like an Alfred Hitchcock thriller, this picture got off to a blistering start and never glanced back. In a nutshell, the plot resembles this: Kurt's Jeff Taylor character and his lovely wife, Amy, played by Kathleen Quinlan (Oscar® nominee for Apollo 13) break down in their brand new Jeep on the side of the road in the middle of some Southwestern nowhere. An 18-wheeler stops and offers to give them a lift. Amy takes the ride into town in search of a tow truck. Amy never comes back, and Jeff is left to solve the disappearance. I don't want to give away any more plot, 'cause this thing is such a great discovery to work through. Let's just say that Jeff is in for a few surprises. And we're not talking piñatas and birthday cake.

Now, from there, the director, Jonathan Mostow, bestows upon us some of the slickest, most riveting screen suspense since Speed. There are outstanding chase scenes, head-scratching plot twists, and some darn nifty action from all parties. I'll admit, a lot of it is reminiscent of other films -- you've got some Saboteur, some Deliverance, some River Wild, some The Vanishing, some Hitcher, some Frantic, but it's not crass ripoff stuff, and the ever-appealing Kurt has a way of giving it all a fresh squirt of Armor-All.

Alright, now let's go back to the REALLY BIG bucket of chicken. The point of that story is the fact that one shouldn't think too much. And I'd have to say that with Breakdown, I got home and started thinking about the plot and some of the logic behind it, and the show lost a bit of its luster. I mean, there's a bunch of this thing that just would not happen in reality. If you see the film, and really analyze it, you'll see what I mean. I won't spoil the details, but let's just start with one basic idea and Spidey-sense the rest. There's no way that any sensible married man, in this day and age, would let his beautiful wife get in the cab with a truckdriver and allow him to drive off with her. Everybody knows that truckdrivers are some of the horniest dudes on the planet, what with all that lonely road and the gentle, repetitive bouncey-bounce of tires meeting asphalt. If anybody wants to argue, I just have two words to back me up: Truckstop Bathroom.

Anyway, despite the problems of thought, Breakdown is a great example of a fun, suspense-thriller in the classical tradition that's sure to please. Russell is dynamic and likeable as usual, and character actor extraordinaire J. T. Walsh is in peak form as the villainous trucker. Park your brain on the shoulder of the road, go vegetarian for supper, and you're sure to enjoy Breakdown.