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Dr. Daniel's Rating Bar

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Under the KnifeTales from the Crypt Presents Demon Knight
[ Billy Zane, William Sadler, Jada Pinkett ] The HBO series goes big screen. It's missing the "wink-wink" feel of the TV series, and the plot has the familiar pacing of an "Elm Street" sans Kruger. 1994.

Under the KnifeTalk Radio
[ Eric Bogosian, Alec Baldwin, Ellen Greene ] A stage play about radio. A STAGE PLAY about RADIO. Only Oliver Stone would have the cajones to turn these elements into a film. 1988.

Critical ConditionTall Tale: The Unbelievable Adventures of Pecos Bill
[ Patrick Swayze, Oliver Platt, Roger Brown ] The only unbelievable part about this flick is just how bad it is. Oliver Platt is horribly miscast as Paul Bunyan. 1995.

Under the KnifeTango and Cash
[ Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell ] Watch Sly wear glasses. Watch lots of punchy tough-guy one-liners. Watch Kurt act circles around Sly. 1989.

In For ObservationTapeheads
[ John Cusack, Tim Robbins ] The makings of a great cult movie. Robbins and Cusack combine with a groovin' soundtrack for mucho hilarity. 1989.

In For ObservationTarzan, the Ape Man
[ Johnny Weissmuller, Maureen O'Sullivan ] Entertaining jungle story with our Olympic swimmer in the lead. True to the book. 1932.

Dead On ArrivalTarzan, the Ape Man
[ Bo Derek, Richard Harris, Miles O'Keefe ] My God, what have you done? (Even Bo's gravity-defying breasts can't redeem this piece o' stink.) 1981.

In For ObservationTaxi Driver
[ Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster, Harvey Keitel ] Scorsese and De Niro hit their stride, creating a movie quote for the ages: "You talkin' to me?" 1976.

Under the KnifeTequila Sunrise
[ Mel Gibson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kurt Russell ] Two buds battle for the love of a good woman while also battling Miami drug runners. Kurt Russell's slicked-back hairdo makes his square head look ENORMOUS. 1988.

In For ObservationTerms of Endearment
[ Debra Winger, Shirley Maclaine, Jack Nicholson ] This legendary tearjerker didn't cause me to cry, but that doesn't mean I wasn't entertained. Nifty script and good acting by all involved. Movie's best moments delivered by Nicholson as a self-absorbed retired astronaut. 1983.

Medical MiracleThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre
[ Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen ] Even two decades later, there still isn't anything quite as horrifying as this original scarefest, made even more terrifying by the fact that it's based on a true story. Watch it with the lights off, and you'll soil yourself. 1974.

Medical MiracleThat Thing You Do!
[ Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Tom Hanks ] It's tragic that Hanks' writing/directing debut was so underappreciated by the critics and the public. This bright story of a mythical pop band with a can't-miss song has a purity of purpose and craftsmanship rarely seen in modern movies. Plus, the title song is so hook-laden you could use it to catch fish! 1996.

In For ObservationThunderball
[ Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi ] Super-spy James Bond scuba dives in the Bahamas en route to saving the world from an eye-patched nuclear thief named Largo. Classic adventure flick starring the King of 007's. 1965.

Medical MiracleTootsie
[ Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr ] Hoffman cross-dressed his way to an Oscar® nom, while Lange won one. A funny film that set a standard for '80s critical and commercial success. Bill Murray kills in support! 1982.

Medical MiracleTop Secret!
[ Val Kilmer, Omar Sharif, Lucy Gutteridge ] The Airplane boys take on WW2 spy movies with Kilmer debuting as an Elvis-esque pop star Nick Rivers! I could try to say something funny in this review, but it'd pale in comparison to the shtick in this hilarious flick. 1984.

Medical MiracleTop Gun
[ Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer ] Cruise is the jaw-clenchin', jet-flyin' Maverick in this definitive macho '80s action pic from Bruckheimer-Simpson. Ever notice that everybody in this movie has a friggin' nickname...Viper, Stinger, Goose, Cougar, Iceman, Wolfman, Tinman, Toto, Cowardly Lion...! 1986.

under the knifeTwo Days in the Valley
[ James Spader, Danny Aiello, Jeff Daniels, Teri Hatcher ] Director John Herzfield short sheets his own movie by trying to tell too many stories in too short a time. This mediocre film is redeemed by scrappin' babes (Hatcher and Charlize Therone), a few fun moments and overall good performances, especially Aiello as a down-and-out hitman. 1996.


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